Often a parent will visit and is concerned that their child is becoming more and more reserved and withdrawal from them during their parent-time. They feel that the other parent is poisoning their relationship with their child. Bruce Beverly calls this Parental Alienation (PA). He defines this as “the unreasonable or irrational rejection of a parent by a child primarily due to the ‘negative influence of the other parent.’” (A Remedy to Fit the Crime: A Call for the Recognition of the Unreasonable Rejection of a Parent by a Child as Tortious Conduct, 15 J. L. Fam. Stud. 153) Parental Alienation is often used by one parent as an active campaign against the other parent. Amy J.L. Baker Ph.D. writes in the psychologytoday.com posted Apr.14 2011.

“There is no one definitive set of behaviors that constitute parental alienation but research with both parents and children has revealed a      core set of 17 primary parental alienation strategies, including bad-mouthing the other parent, limiting contact with that parent, erasing      the other parent from the life and mind of the child (forbidding discussion and pictures of the other parent), forcing child to reject the          other parent, creating the impression that the other parent is dangerous, forcing the child to choose, and belittling and limiting contact with the extended family of the targeted parent.”

The parent often asks what can be done? Typically, there are there choices for the courts. The first is to issue orders not to disparage the other parent. This is often in many decrees or parenting plan. Generally, the verbiage lack specificity to bring about the enforcement powers of the court. The second is to change of custody, but if there has been true parental alienation this is can be harmful to the child if the child is highly alienated. The third is nothing. The courts often feel that it will work its way out as the child grows older.

Like many issues we have today the best cure is prevention. But when a parent is experiencing PA counseling is recommended and the use of a parenting coordinator will help work through the parents to stop the behavior. This will only work if the alienating parent participates. (Philip M. Koszk, MD, William Bernet, MD Treatment and Prevention of Parental Alienation Psychiatrictimes.com Mar. 12, 2020.)

When parents separate and one or both become bitter towards each other, sometimes one parent usually the custodial parent will attempt to ruin or damage the relationship between the child and the noncustodial parent. This will may cause parental alienation and the other parent will need help and continued contact with the child to prevent further alienation.